This is good.

Ponyboy has found a way to feel better about everything. He's writing a composition for school on what's happened. Everything. The whole truth. He wasn't doing so well in school. I don't know why, but I guess that happens after concussions sometimes. I don't know for sure what made him snap out of the shroud of lies he was in, but I think it might be a letter he got from Johnny. I found in on the desk. Ponyboy. The note said. I asked the nurse to give this book to you so you could finish it. He must mean Gone With the Wind. It was lying beside the note. The doctor came in a while ago but I knew anyway. I keep getting tireder and tireder. Listen, I don't mind dying now. It's worth it. It's worth saving those kids. Their lives are worth more than mine, they have more to live for. Some oof their parents came by to thank me and I know it was worth it. Tell Dally it's worth it. I'm just going to miss you guys. I've been thinking about it, and that poem, that guy that wrote it, he meant you're gold when you're a kid, like green. When you're a kid everything's new, dawn. It's just when you get used to everything that it's day. Like the way you dig sunsets, Pony. That's gold. Keep that way, it's a good way to be. I want you to tell Dally to look at one. He'll probably think you're crazy, but ask for me. I don't think he's ever really seen a sunset. And don't be so bugged over being a greaser. You still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want. There's still a lot of good in the world. Tell Dally. I don't think he knows. Your buddy, Johnny. I had tears in my eyes at the end of the note. It brought everything rushing back. Poor Johnny. And Dally would never see a sunset. He didn't get to know there's good in the world. But even so. Dally is with the only living thing he ever cared about and where ever Johnny and Dally are, I bet Johnny's telling Dally everything he didn't know he didn't know. Everything's going to be ok. For the first time, I'm sure of that. See y'all soon.

Sodapop

Court trial

Yesterday was the trial. After Cherry and Randy were questioned, it was Darry and my turn. We both ssaid Dally was our friend and that no one in our gang would desert another. Then the Judge asked Ponyboy if he liked living with Darry and how he did in school. Stuff like that. I felt like laughing when the Judge smiled at Pony and told him to stop chewing his nails. THen the judge said Ponyboy was acquitted and the whole case was closed. I was releived and gave Darry a big hug. Ponyboy goes back to school tomorrow. I wonder if his concussion will change anything about him. Got to go. Work.

He's up.

It's been seven days since my last post. Ponyboy is awake but he looks bad. He's denying Johnny and Dally's deaths and he keeps saying that HE killed Bob. I found that out after the Soc Randy came to visit. I didn't hear they're conversation, but Darry told me. That kid Randy came over and he wanted to talk to Ponyboy. Darry went in and asked Pony if he wanted to see him and Pony said he did. So the Soc goes in and they have a good talk. Dary stays close, just in case. Then he hears Ponyboy. Or, he doesn't hear Ponyboy. All of a sudden it's really quiet. Darry goes in and hears Ponyboys shaking voice saying, "I killed him. I had a switchblade and I was scared they were going to beat me up." Then Randy saying,"No, kid, it was your friend, the one who died in the hospital..." Pony cut him off. "Johnny's not dead." His voice was shaking. "Johnny is not dead." I stuck my head in the door. "Hey, Randy. I think you'd better go now." Randy stood up and said by to Pony and he left. Darry told Ponyboy to stop smoking in bed and he'd better clean up that room in case his smoking started a fire. It's been a pretty good week. I really think Pony's getting better. I hope that trend continues.

Oh, geez. I, I, wow.

Pony came back. Bleeding from the head and looking shell shocked, but back. Darry jumped up. "Where have you been?" Ponyboy closed his eyes and Darry stopped suddenly. "Ponyboy, what's the matter?" Pony looked scared. "Johnny, he's dead." His voice sounded weird. " We told him about beatin' the Socs and... I don't know, he just died." Everyone was silent. I could see my shock reflected on their faces. I felt like crying but I held it back. I closed my eyes. I didn't wanna live without Johnny! Imagine how Dally was feeling. Ponyboy seemed to read my thoughts. "Dallas is gone." he said, "He ran out like the devil was after him. He's gonna blow up. He couldn't take it." It was silent for a few moments then Two-bit said what everyone was thinking, "So he finally broke. Even Dally has a breaking point." Pony started shaking and quietly Darry said, "Get him to bed Soda." I looked at Pony and said, "Ponyboy, you look sick, sit down." Pony looked like a cornered animal, "I'm ok." He said. "I don't want to sit down." Darry took a step towards him and Pony backed away. "Don't touch me!" Darry looked liike he was going to tell Pony he didn't care, but then the phone rang. It pierced the silence like a bullet. Darry picked it up and said Hello. He listened for a moment then hung up. "It was Dally. He phoned from a booth. He's just robbed a grocery store and the cops are after him. We gotta hide him. He'll be in the lot in a minute." All at once, we ran out of the house. I looked back at pony. He looked like he was drunk, weaving all over the place. We reached the lot at the same time as Dally. He came running in from the opposite direction. Suddenly police sirens filled the air, slowly geting louder. Doors slammed just as Dally reached a circle of light. There was only one car but it seemed like so many more. As Dally reached the light, he skidded to a stop and pulled a dark object out of his clothes. I looked like a gun! You idiot! I thought. You can't point a gun at the cops! Do you have a death wish?! Then it dawned on me. Dally didn't want to live without Johnny. No! I wanted to yell, Stop Dally, please! But it was too late. Gunfire rang in the vacant lot. Dally twisted halfway around as the bullets hit him, a look of grim triumph on his face. He started to crupple on the ground and I knew he was dead. A feeling of hopelessness filled me. What will be do without Dally? I caught Steve stumbling towards Dallys body, sobbing. "Easy buddy, easy. There's nothing we can do now." I was comforting Steve when I heard a cop say, "Hey, look at the kid!" I looked over at Ponyboy. He had fallen to the ground and was looking like Dally. Dead. My first impulse was to yell about how dare they shoot a little kid, but then I realized, he wasn't bleeding and I hadn't heard and more gunshots. I let go of Steve and ran towards Ponyboy. He was out cold. "Darry! Help!" Darry ran over from where he was fighting with the police officer. "Dang it!" He yelled. "I knew he wasn't up for this!" Darry picked him up and ran towards home. I waited at the lot, trying to calm Steve and Two-bit. Two-bit was upset because the cops took his switchblade. "Is that all you're upset about?" Steve asked. "No, but I wish it was." Replyed Two-bit. I saw our car pull up to the lot at Darry honked. I ran to the car and jumped in the front seat. Darry was driving towards the hospital before I had even closed the door. At the hospital, they put Pony through a bunch of tests. They brought him out in a wheelchair, still unconcious. "He has a concussion. He's going to be out cold for a while, but when he comes to, feed him. He'll need to build his strengh up. I don't know what he'll be like when he wakes up. He's been through a lot." Darry thanked the doctor and wheeled Ponyboy out to the car. He put him in the back seat and we drove back to the house. Now, It's four hours later and I'm waiting for Pony to wake up. Hopefully it won't be too much longer.

We won!!!

As you can probably tell, we won!! It was so awesome. But let me start at the beginning. It was around six thirty when Pony got back. The rumble was at seven. Pony missed dinner, so Darry gave him some leftovers. Pony barely touched them. I guess he had a headache, 'cause he took some asprin. I don't know how many, probably one or two. Anyway, Steve came over and we started to play cards while Ponyboy had a shower. He wanted to know when Darry and I started shaving. I told him when. Darry at thirteen, me at fifteen. I teased him a bit and he said he should send me in to readers digest 'cause they pay money for funny things. I just laughed and kept playing cards. I ran a hand through my hair. I had put way too much grease in it, but it still looked pretty tuff. I looked at Steve, Pony and Darry. Ponyboy and steve had used tons of grease too, but Darry just looked like Darry. Hair always clean and grease free. If I didn't know him, I'd think he was a Soc. Then Ponybay asked me,"Do you like fights Soda?" I told him I did. He asked why, and I told him the truth. "I don't know. It's action. It's a contest. Like a drag race or a dance or something." Steve looked at me and told me he liked fights because he wants to beat the Soc's heads in. He likes to beat the other guy good. Then Pony asked Darry why he likes to fight. When Darry didn't say anything, I said, "He likes to show off his muscles." "I'm gonna show 'em off on you, little buddy, if you get any mouthier." Said Darry. We all were quiet for a bit. Pony and Darry both seemed to be thinking. Then Darry slowly said, "I don't think you should be in this rumble Pony." Then there was a debate about whether Ponyboy should be in the rumble or not. It was then decided Pony would be able to go. After that was decided, Darry said that i was one brother he didn't need to worry about because I used my head. I put on a look of total superiority. But then, Darry said, "You can see he uses it for one thing, to grow hair on!" Darry jumped out of the way of my punch, towards the door. Darry leaped out of the door just as Two-bit stuck his head in. I ran after Darry just as he did a front flip off the front porch. I yelled yeah when Two-bit said we were all in prme condition for a rumble. To punctuate that fact, I did a flip of the porch and then flipped over to walk on my hands, then did a no handed cartwheel across the lawn. Then Steve ran across the lawn in huge leaps, stopped suddenly, and flipped backwards. The Pony did a no hand cartwheel off the porch and Two-bit followed in a similar manner. Then I started singing a greaser song. Everyone else chimed in and we kept singing until we got near the lot. I could see Ponyboy asking Two-bit something. Then Darry came up and said, "Listen, Soda, you and Ponyboy, if the fuzz show, you two beat it out of there. The rest of us cab only get jailed, you two can get sent to a boys home." Then we were at the vacant lot. All of the other gangs of hoods were there. Tim Shepard and his group and the young hoods the Brumly Boys. We all moved towards eachother and shook hands to show that we were on the same side. I saw Tim Shepard talking to Ponyboy. I don't know what about though. But Pony looked sorta proud. Then Tim left and one of the Brumly Boys waved to Pony. He went over. The Brumly boy looked over at Darry, talking to someone and Pony looked over too. He stayed over there for a bit, talking, and I lost intrest. Then Tim yelled, "Hey, Curtis!" "Which one?" I called back. "The big one. Come on over here." Darry went over and started talking to Tim. Pony came over to stand beside me and Stevie. THe Soc's were coming, four car loads of them. They looked real impressive, wearing their madras ski jackets and their checkered shirts. But we looked really impressive too. Then we lined up, facing eachother. One of the Soc's said the rules. No weapons, a clean fight.No one was going to start anything, so Darry stepped forward and said he'd take anyone. He looked really scary. Then a Soc stepped forward and said, "Hello Darrel." "Hello Paul." I gasped. Paul was on Darry's school football team. Darry could probably have taken Paul then, but what about now? "I'll take you." Then they moved in a circle under the light. Before anyone had made a move a voice called out, "Hold up! Hold it!" Darry turned his head and paul used that to hit Darry hard in the head. Dally ran up to us and the rumble began. There was no time for hellos. It was time to fight. I don't need to tell you about that fight. It was fair, exept one of the Brumly boys brought a pipe. Steve was hurt pretty bad ad Pony had been kicked a few too many times, but I pounced on the Soc before he could do anything more. But in no time the rumble was over and the Soc's were running. I was so happy. Our troubles were over! Before I could find Pony and see how he was, Dally had whisked him away. Probably to tell Johnny. I was suddenly very tired. Darry yelled, "Let's go home!" and we happily followed him. Two-bit had a really bad cut on his cheek. We would need to get tnhat fixed up. When we were at our house, Two-bit went and rummaged around for a bandage. He found one, because when he came out, there was a huge thing on his face. Steve was moaning. His ribs looked purple, so we figured they were broken. Darry got a tensor bandage and wrapped it tight around the ribs. Steve layed down and feel asleep. So did the others. I couldn't. I was worried about Dally and Pony boy. What was taking them so long. Or what is taking them so long! I'm starting to get worried. Be home soon Pony!

Just before our lovely rumble.

Pony said he saw the soc Randy who was with Bob when he died. he said they had a good talk and that Randy won't be coming to the rumble, he's had enough. I think he's insane. Then, Darry told me Pony had another of his dreams. Those dreams scare Darry. They had mostly gone away. I hope this is the last one. Any way, Two-bit and Ponyboy went to see Johnny. At first the nurses wouldn't let them, but then the doctor came out and said "It can't hurt now." what ever the little so-and-so meant by that. I guess Johnny didn't look so great because the expression on Ponyboy's face when he told me was sorta sick looking. Pony told me the whole conversation, so I'm going to write it here.
Two-bit: Hey Johnnykid.
Johnny(trying to smile): Hey y'all
The nurse said something like, so he can talk.
Two-bit:They treatin' you ok, kid?
Johnny: don't, don't let me put enough grease in my hair.
Two-bit: Don't talk, just listen. We'll bring you some hair grease next time. We're having a big rumble tonight. Too bad you and Dally can't be in it. It's not the first big rumble we've had-not counting the time we whipped Shepards outfit.
Johnny: He came by.
Two-bit: Shepard?
Johnny:Came to see Dally.
Two-bit: Did you know you got your name in the paper for being a hero?
Johnny: Tuff enough.
Johnny looked tired. He was as pale as a ghost.
Two-bit: You want anything besides hair grease, kid?
Johnny: The book. (he looked at Ponyboy) can you get another one?
POny: He wants another copy of Gone With the Wind so I can read it to him. You want to run down to the drugstore and get one?
Two-bit: Ok. Don't y'all run off!
Pony: Dally's gonna be ok. And Darry and me. We're gonna be ok now.
Johnny gets really bad now and closes his eyes, really pale.
Pony: Johnny! Are you ok!\Johnn: Yeah, it just hurts sometimes. It usually don't.. I can't feel anything below the middle of my back.. I'm pretty bad off ain't I POny?
Pony: You'll be ok. You gotta be. We couldn't get along without you.
Ponys right. I can't imagine the gang without Johnny.
Johnny: I won't be able to walk again. Not even on crutches. Busted my back.
Pony: You'll be ok.
Johnny: You want to know something Ponyboy? I'm scared stiff. I used to talk about killing myself. I don't want to die now. sixteen years ain't long enough. I wouldn't mind so much if there wasn't so much I hadn't doneyet and so many things I ain't seen. It's not fair. You know what? That time we were in Windrexville was the only time Iv'e been away from our neighbourhood.
Pony: You ain't goona die. And don't get juiced up, because the Doc won't let us see you no more if you do.
They sat in silence for a bit then the nurse comes in and says Johnny, your mothers here to see you.
Johnny: I don't want to see her.
Nurse: She's your mother!
Johnny: I said I don't want to see her! She's probably come to tell me all the trouble I'm causing her and how glad her and the old man will be when I'm dead! Well, tell her to leave me alone. For once. For once tell her to leave me alone.
Johnny struggle to sit up and then he gasped and passed out cold.
Two-bit ran back in and told the nurse to make sure Johnny sees the Gone With the Wind book when he wakes up. Then they decided to go see Dally. But there was Johnny's mom. Standing there. Yelling at the nurse. Insulting Johnny. Two-bit went up to her and said, "No wonder he hates your guts." Then POnyboy pulled Two-bit over to Dally's room and they had a good talk with him about Johnny and the rumble. I was surprised when Pony told me Two-bit handed over his prize switchblade to Dally. I wonder what he's planning. What Pony told me next surprised me. The only thing keeping Darry from being a Soc, was us. And it's true. He could be in collage getting a fancy education. I feel really bad about that and I wish there was something we could do, but there's not. Anyway, Pony told me he was going to the rumble, no matter what. I think he means it. He's doing it for Johnny. I think Pony also spoke to that Cherry Valance Soc, but if he did, he's keeping it a secret. I will find out though. But for now, I've got to go. Wish Johnny luck! He's going to be ok!

Of course It'll be ok. What a silly question.

Today was , well, let me tell you about it. The first part of the day was spent just sitting in the waiting room. I guess some reporters got wind that the "heros" were in the hospital and they wanted to interview Pony. At first he was doing great, but then the reporters asked too many questions too fast and he started to get confused. Then Darry came up and basically told the reporters to buzz off. I was having a lot of fun, stealing hats and cameras and mock interviewing people. I decided to try and lift a cops gun and when I got caught, I put on a crazy grin and the cop smiled back and let me off. I got pretty bored with stuff like that though and fell asleep on Darry’s lap. It was pretty late and I hadn’t slept much that week. I wasn’t completely out of it yet so I heard when Darry whispered, "He didn’t get much sleep this week. He hardly slept at all." I felt the need to say something, "Hhhmmmm, you didn’t either." Darry decided to get some info on Dally and Johnny. I decided to try and listen as I slept. They got hold of the doctor. I was suddenly very awake. The doctor said that Dally had a badly burned arm, but that he would be fine in a couple weeks. I knew Dally would be ok. I was more concerned about Johnny. The doctor told us that Johnny was in critical condition. He had a broken back and third degree burns but he couldn’t feel the burns on the lower half of his body. He was in severe shock and if he lived, he would be crippled for the rest of his life. The doctor looked at our shocked faces and said, "You wanted it strait, you got it strait, now go home and get some rest." I wasn’t really paying attention to a lot. Pony was shaking. I didn’t feel so hot myself. When reality hits me, it hits me hard. Darry looked like he was going to cry. He put his arm around Pony and squeezed. The doctor walked away. Darry was rubbing the back of Pony’s head softly. He whispered something I couldn’t hear. Darry lead Pony over and said, "We’re going home now." I got up and followed them out to the car. In the car, Pony just about passed out. He laid back in the seat and was out in a few seconds. He looked exactly like I felt. In a few minutes we were back home. I shook Pony and said, "Hey Ponyboy, wake up. You still got to get into the house." He moaned and laid down on the seat. I was starting to doubt his ability to get up. I spoke softly with Darry. I was getting frustrated so I said, "Oh, come on Ponyboy, we’re sleepy too." Darry seemed to get frustrated with fooling around so he picked Pony up to bring him into the house. "He’s getting awful big to be carried." I said. "He’s lost a lot of weight." Darry replied. He did look thinner. Darry put him in bed and left. I took off Ponyboys shoes and socks. I was too tired to do anything else so I climbed into bed fully dressed.
I don’t know what woke me. Maybe it was Two-bit and Steve being, well, Two-bit and Steve. I ran in to the kitchen. "Where’s that blue shirt I washed yesterday?" I took a drink of chocolate milk from the contain. "Hate to tell you buddy, but you’ve got to wear clothes to work." Said Steve from the floor. I remembered something,"Oh yeah, where are those wheat jeans?" "I ironed." Said Darry, "They’re in my closet. Hurry up, you’re going to be late." I ran back to the bedroom muttering, "I’m hurrying, I’m hurrying." Steve followed me and hit me with a pillow. Then there was a pillow fight that lasted all of 2 minutes. We walked back into the kitchen. It looked like Darry and Ponyboy were having a good conversation. To no one in particular I said, "You know what? When we stomp the Socies good, me and Stevie here are gonna throw a big party and everyone can get stoned. Then we’ll chase the soc’s clear to Mexico." Where are you gonna get the dough?" asked Darry. "I’ll find a way." I said. Then Pony asked the worst thing he could. "Are you gonna bring Sandy to the Party?" It took a bit but everyone explained that Sandy had been shipped off to Florida to live with her Grandparents instead of being married to a 17 year old kid. "We’d better get on to work Pepsi-Cola." I ran out to the car because we were going to be late. Steve and Darry followed me a moment after and we drove to work. "So, um, I read in the paper they might be separating you three." Steve stuttered after we’d dropped of Darry. I slammed on the brakes in the car. "WHAT!" I yelled. "Hey, don’t take it out on me, I thought you knew already!" Steve said. "But Darry’s a great guardian, they’ve gotta see that, they’ve just gotta!" "Ya, right Soda." Steve agreed.I was a quiet day. I had time to read as newspaper. Juvenile Delinquents Turn Heros, The title read. It was all about how Pony, Johnny and Dally had saved those kids from the fire. Then, next to that article there was another one saying how the fuzz should let us stay together. Maybe this is going to be ok. No, it IS going to be ok. I should go see Johnny sometime. Got to go, Customer.

They're Back!!

Yes! Pony and Johnny are back! But that news isn’t all good. Let me start at the beginning. I haven’t been sleeping. I was worried about Pony and well, Sandy left. I wasn’t feeling so hot when the phone rang. I ignored it. Let Darry could get it. I heard Darry’s voice from the kitchen. "Hello? He’s where? WHAT! Is he ok? What about the other guys there? What do you mean you won’t tell me! We’ll be right over." I heard the click of the phone and then, "Soda! Pony, Johnny and Dally are back! They’re in the hospital!" I jumped out of my chair. "What are we waiting for? Let’s go!" I yelled. We all ran to the car and jumped in. Darry started the car and drove crazily to the hospital. On the way there, I could barely think for happiness. I had a big stupid grin on my face. I looked at Darry. He looked sorta pained. Like he did at mom and dad’s funeral. We were at the Hospital in no time flat. We ran up to the desk and told them we were here for Ponyboy Curtis. This weird guy went in before us and said something like, "Your Brothers are here." I ran in and hugged Pony so hard he was lifted right off the ground. I put him down and looked him over. He had cut and bleached his hair. "Oh Ponyboy, your hair, your tuff, tuff, hair.." But Pony wasn’t paying attention to me. He was staring at Darry with an odd look on his face. When Darry spoke, his voice sounded rough. "Ponyboy.." Pony let go of me. He simply stood there. I wish I knew what was going through his head right then cause it sure would have been interesting. I looked at Darry and was shocked to see he was crying. Darry never cried. He had just looked the way he did now, fists in the pockets and a pleading look on his face. Darry suddenly looked down and turned away. Pony seemed to snap out of a trance and he yelled "DARRY!" and rushed up and squeezed Darry so hard I thought his eyes would pop out. Darry was stroking his hair and he whispered, "I thought we lost you, like we did Mom and Dad." I knew how he felt. We were going to stay here. I saw a news paper and picked it up. There was a picture of a burned church on the cover and a title of Young Children Saved by Group of 3 Teenagers. It dawned on me what happened, why Pony and Johnny were back. I skimmed the article for words I might be able to read. I saw Broken back and critical condition. I may have also seen 3rd Degree burns, whatever that meant. I really hope Johnny and Dally are ok. I’m going to try and get some news out of the doctor.